This weekend I was listening to a podcast about parenting (I have six children ages 1 – 11, so parenting is always on my mind). The conversation turned to what parents should do who feel overwhelmed or are struggling to be successful. One of the suggestions of the parenting expert caught my attention – “don’t get caught up in the perfect or ideal, just start where you are and move forward from there.”
That advice resonated with me as good advice for school leaders who are feeling overwhelmed about providing meaningful learning for our kids during the pandemic. There are so many challenging variables, and so many unknown points, you simply have to ground yourself in what you know and can do, and then commit yourself to build on that as best as possible. Parents, teachers, and administrators around the world are all facing the uncertainty as best they can.
I recently participated in a conference call with school heads from all over Central and South America. It was fascinating to hear the unique challenges each leader was facing, as well as note the common themes that emerged across schools, cities, and countries. What I appreciated most about the conversation amongst these seasoned leaders was their ability to calmly but purposefully make decisions while simultaneously acknowledging the limitations of those decisions in the face of constantly shifting circumstances. They weren’t frantic to solve problems over which they had little control. Instead, they were making thoughtful, rational decisions based on the data and circumstances at hand. You can’t do more than that.
I find little value in hand-wringing over things outside our control. Just this weekend, on the eve of finally making the physical transition from the United States to Costa Rica – something we’ve been looking forward to for what seems like an eternity (in reality just under 8 months), we had to forfeit our plane tickets because a couple of our kids were showing some sickness symptoms. Making the decision to call the board president early Sunday morning to inform that we’d have to postpone travel was really tough. Yes, I was more than a little disappointed. We’ve worked so hard to get our family of 8 all packed up and ready to go. We had already sold our house, and just sold our mini-van. As I usually do in the face of disappointment or setback, I was quiet and worked internally through my emotions and frustration, knowing I would bounce back soon. That bouncing back always comes from a sense that I have the power and choice to move forward from where I find myself.
Instead of choosing frustration, you have to find space for gratitude. I’m incredibly grateful to be employed by an amazing school community at the Lincoln School. It’s rather remarkable that I could be working for a school in Central America when I’m not physically able to be there. I’m blessed to work with a school board that has been nothing but supportive of my transition – despite the hiccups. I’ve had the chance to build new relationships and this week we welcome all of our staff back to launch the upcoming school year.
And so, we start from where we are. In my case, that means cloistered at my in-laws house, in a borrowed car, each member of our family living out of a single carry-on bag. Certainly an adventure to be remembered.